Three years ago I was bullied by a lot of the population of my class, this bullying continued for three years, since I was in middle school at the time the bullying really made me think that everyone was like that, this really made me Self Conscious, I am a freshman in high school now, and after dealing with severe anxiety and antisocial issues, I began feeling poorly about my body. I continued to block myself off from other people because I thought I was ugly and fat. Because of these thoughts I convinced myself that I had to change to be pretty so people in my school (boys) liked me. But… Its not true. I thought that I had to change for other people to like me, for guys to finally ask me out or at least talk to me. A few minutes ago, I was feeling really bad about my weight, So I began looking up the “Average Weight for 5’5” teenage girl”. I then proceeded to look up frame sizes, height averages, and a lot more. I then looked up the word “voluptuous” Which in case you didn’t know means:(of a woman) curvaceous and sexually attractive. I then looked at the pictures for this, and I was met with lots of women, who looked very similarly to me. Most of them were in seductive poses, the others were holding power poses. I then found out what my frame size was and looked at the average weight for my height and frame size. I almost cried as I realized, I am below average for my frame size. I was so happy with this result I went back to those other pictures, looking at the women I realized, the only difference between them and I, was they were holding themselves with a whole lot of confidence. Confidence issues are one of my biggest issues, (hence the Self-Consciousness) so I decided right then, that I WOULD NOT change my weight, or my frame size. I would change my Confidence in myself, I would begin believing that I was beautiful and the reason guys aren’t talking to me is because maybe they’re not ready… So, Girls, I am going to delete all of my workouts boards on Pinterest, I’m going to stop thinking about how many calories are in my food, I’m going to stop looking at my thighs and thinking that I should put a few more hours In the gym, most of all, I’m going to stop hating myself for a number on a freaking scale, NO MORE, COUNTING CALORIES, WEIGHING MYSELF, NOT EATING, HATING MY THIGHS/KNEES/ARMS/FEET/ANKLES/BUTT/CELLULITE/STRETCH MARKS/EVERYTHING ELSE IVE MADE A HUGE DEAL ABOUT! Because guess what?! It doesn’t matter! Now, I am going to LOVE ME FOR ME! Including all of the things I used to hate! Sure I might fall out of this mood sometimes, I might workout a little bit extra, BUT FROM NOW ON… it’s about me being healthy, NOT WHAT I SOCIETY BELIEVES IS “AVERAGE”. I AM NO LONGER CHAINED TO MY OWN MIND, AND I AM NEVER GOING TO WANT TO CRY WHEN I LOOK IN THE MIRROR!!
I love myself, and that’s okay.